I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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