hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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