yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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