Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
