Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
