Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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