i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
