Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
