Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
should my penis look like a turkey
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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