My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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