Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
