420 ftw
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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