that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
