I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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