yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
