Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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