I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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