i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize