At least make sure they are 18
Why
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
