ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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