wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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