that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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