high people should be assigned attendants
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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