Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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