I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
