I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
