and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize