So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
