i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize