So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
