just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
