Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
it's like iHOP with fire
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
