There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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