Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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