I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i drank out of a bidet.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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