Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
