Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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