Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize