dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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