bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
