I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
