i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
