She said her name was "party"
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
