did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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