but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
