Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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