Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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