i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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