dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
