What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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