You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
