i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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