I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize