I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
worst night to have a conscience
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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