the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
