Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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