I wish I could teleport
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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