Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The air was thick with penises
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
